The last few days have been really busy. There was a full day of WRAP on Wednesday, then I spent a solid five hours yesterday morning doing up my plans. The house was chaotic for the afternoon – kids in and out, doors banging, Hubby drilling, sawdust EVERYWHERE, people asking me for stuff, dogs barking every time the door opened………..too much. I knew it was too much. This morning I woke up very much feeling the effects of this overwhelm – I couldn’t breathe, my mind was racing, I had a headache and I felt extremely under pressure.
But do you know what’s awesome? I caught all of it. I used my WRAP! After I dropped the kids to school I took the dogs for a walk, and it was while I was walking that I picked up on all these things. I realise this will sound a little strange, but when my mind starts racing I usually find myself with either a line – just one – from a song, or from a story I’ve read the kids. While I’m walking this line is doing a loop round my mind in time with my footsteps, and it makes me crazy. That was the first thing I picked up on this morning, and once I noticed that, I realised I wasn’t breathing either.
The whole time I was walking I was either repeating the line over and over in my head (it was a line from ‘The Great Dog Bottom Swap‘) or else thinking of all the things I needed to do when I got home. Clean the kitchen. Hoover all the sawdust. Make the beds. Wash the floors. Clean the bathrooms…………and on and on and on. But having done WRAP yesterday, I realised I could do one of two things. I could ignore all my early warning signs and carry on, or I could pay heed to them and think about what I needed to do to fix it. I went for the latter. When I got home I went straight upstairs and did my headspace, then some yoga, then a long shower. It worked! I can breathe again. I have some decidedly unpleasant phone calls to make later today that I know will be a major stressor, but at least I’m in a better frame of mind to handle it now.
What’s really interesting about all this is that since having actually made plans around what I need to do, I feel less guilty about taking the time to do it. It could easily be argued that I wasted the morning – I have nothing to show for it. But had I not taken that time, the impending phone calls would have me in a heap, and I’d be so wound up that the afternoon would just be unpleasant for everyone. Giving myself that space means I’m more able for whatever the afternoon brings, and I’m also more available to my family. So yes, the floors may be absolutely grotty, but it’s far less likely that I’m going to go off the deep end. That’s more important than any level of housework.