I hadn’t intended to do a ‘this time last year’ type post, but as the day has gone on it’s increasingly been on my mind so……..here you go.
This time last year:
- I believed I had borderline personality disorder
- I believed I had depression
- I believed both were conditions that were part of me, with which I would always struggle
- I believed I would need psychiatric medication for the rest of my life
- I had no therapist, had placed all my hope in the HSE, and was utterly lost
- I couldn’t see any future for myself.
And now? I hardly know where to start. The easiest way to sum it up is to say everything, absolutely everything is the exact polar opposite of the above. My whole world view has changed. I no longer believe in the two diagnoses I was given, other than that were indicative of changes I needed to make – changes I have made, and am continuing to make. I’ve made huge strides in moving on from the trauma that was the ending of the relationship with Therapist 1.0, and am closer to being off medication than I have been in almost 5 years. I’ve learned so much about how our brains actually work, on a physiological level, and the influence all of that has on our emotional well being. I’ve been fortunate enough to work with two incredible therapists, both of whom have been instrumental in bringing about all of this change. My marriage is rock solid, better than it’s ever been. I have plans for the future, dreams and ambitions, and for the first time in my life I truly believe I can make those dreams happen.
I owe a MONUMENTAL part of all this change to you. You’ve supported me, understood me, and when I needed it, gave me the financial means to actually access the help that I so badly needed. There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not aware of the extremely privileged position I’m in, and that’s almost entirely down to you.
This time last year the future was a concept I couldn’t even contemplate. Tonight? I’m genuinely excited for what it’s going to bring, and am really looking forward to having your company along the way xx