I’ve done it. I’ve finally, finally, done it. After so many years spent fighting and crying and struggling and hurting myself and giving up and starting over, again and again and again, I’m out the other end. The drugs are gone. The labels are gone. The therapists, psychiatrists, hospital, doctors, appointments………..all gone. I’m almost a week into no meds whatsoever (I’ll outline how I managed that another time), and while there has been some fallout in that I’m SHATTERED and a little prone to tears, I have never, ever felt better. I’m calm. I’m hopeful for the future, more than that, I’m excited for the future. I have plans and dreams and hopes, and I know that I will handle whatever life throws at me, because my god has it thrown several fuck tons of shite at me the last 10 years.

My life is very quiet and very simple these days. I look after my kids, I mind my dogs, I walk, I have time for photography, for writing, for my family, for me……..This lifestyle wouldn’t suit everyone, it’s not flashy or filled with nice things and holidays and nights out. But it’s everything that I need – quiet, calm, space, peace. Not drugs, not labels. Not ‘fixing’ me.

I see Fi now. I like her a lot, and I’m going to look after her.

This article has 17 Comments

  1. Beautiful Fiona, well done you. A real triumph of the human spirit. I loved your last line. I’m excited about your future too x

  2. A week off meds is not a long test that you can do without. People should not stop abruptly on reading your post. Good luck for your med free future.

    1. I would certainly hope they don’t either! Anyone who’s been reading any length of time will know this has been a painfully slow process, done over almost a year and with the guidance and support of my psychiatrist and doctor. I am by no means advocating that anyone should make a decision on medication based on this post alone. You’re right, a week is not a long test, but it’s a week longer that I’ve managed in a very long time and that’s a good enough start for me.

  3. Well done to you, I hope one day to be able to say the same, to hand back the drugs, not worry about prescriptions, psychologists etc. but today I feel further away than ever, but one day, stay well.

  4. Amazing!!!!fortitude, and I want to ty so much for being so open and informative, and part of the fight against stigma!!!<3

  5. Now it’s time to get a REAL job, stop looking for sympathy ,be productive and start supporting your husband!. Kind regards, your troll 😉

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