I’ve noticed something the last few weeks. My emotions are not my own. What I mean is that I am very much at the mercy of external factors, be they good, or bad – something good happens, mood goes way up, something (that I perceive as – very important distinction) bad, mood goes down. I realise this is true for everyone to some extent but it’s the frequency and extremes of mood that are a problem for me, and are a key aspect of bpd – affective instability is the official term. What I’m hoping to eventually get to is some kind of equilibrium – that while external influences may be positive or negative, I can sit fairly calmly in the middle. Resilience is the word Therapist would use.
Take the last week or so
- post conference come down – low
- got a call re TV interview next week – high
- novelty of said TV interview wore off – low
- call re presentation for See Change after interview – high
- novelty of that wore off – low
- blog awards win, twitter/fb loved me for a couple of hours – MASSIVE high
- Twitter/fb have moved on this morning – on the way down again.
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