I feel the need to temper what I wrote last night with what’s happening in between times. Last night was intense and overwhelming and absolutely horrible, but, as Hubby predicted, it has passed. Now I’m left with the fallout, and finding a way to get myself back on an even keel again.

Since last Friday I’ve been on a phone ban, and we’ve pulled up the literal and metaphorical drawbridge. My world has become very, very small and I’m trying to keep distraction to a minimum. It’s been me, hubby, the kids and not a whole lot else. I’m staying away from facebook since Friday’s urge to shut everything down, and for the most part my phone has been switched off (apologies if you’ve contacted me and I haven’t responded, I’m not ignoring you). It’s likely to stay that way for a few more days.

I need to regroup. I’m seeing the psychologist tomorrow and I’m really hoping she can say something, anything that will help more than telling me I might be able to start dbt in March. I need something now. I’m managing, I’m functioning, but it is taking a phenomenal amount of work, and is impinging on everything. I’m off work this week for the mid term which is mercifully well timed as I’m not sure I could cope  with work right now on top of trying to keep myself going. For at least the next week, we’re going right back to basics and keeping things as simple as possible.


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