Life in the psych unit

So to pick up where I left off, after meeting the psychiatrist myself and Hubby resigned ourselves to the fact that this time I would be staying. How did that feel? Honestly, I’m not entirely sure. Looking back I don’t think I know what I felt, I was mostly numb. I don’t remember being shown to my bed, although I do remember recognising the voice of a visitor at the…

Read More

Friends are so important!!

I just had a really positive session with Therapist, and she got me thinking about how far I’ve come this last few years, and how much has changed. How much I’ve changed. And what struck me while we were talking about it is that there is one huge difference between me now, and the me of 9 years ago who first moved to Galway. That difference is people. When we…

Read More

Hospital admission round 2

In my last post on this I left the hospital realising I had made a pretty big mistake. The 8 months between that realisation and my next admission were, well, an experience. The potted version goes something like this: depression got worse, medication went up, depression slowly, slowly, painfully improved. After 4 months off work I returned full time, for the first time in 4 years (I went half time…

Read More

Distraction tactics

There are times when distraction is very valuable. Like now. For months, evening time, once the kids were in bed, was the toughest time for me. I literally just didn’t know what to do with myself. Thankfully that’s eased up a bit, but every now and then, like this evening, it’ll rear it’s head again and I find my mind heading over to the dark side. So what can I…

Read More

Hospital admission round 1

There have been many scary things about having depression. Realising things were bad enough that I needed to be in hospital is definitely on that list. I’ve been admitted twice, the first time about a year ago when I refused to stay, the second time just last February and I ended up staying for 5 weeks. Both times, I think I knew deep down that it was what I needed,…

Read More

PND continued

I’m at an age where pregnancies, new babies and the ups and downs of early parenthood are all around me. I’ve written  before about some of my experience with post natal depression (PND), how it manifested, how long it took us to recognise what was really going on. Today I want to talk about how it makes me feel now. I’m angry, so, so angry. And I’m sad. I feel…

Read More

Pondering on mindfulness v CBT

There are a couple of schools of thought around depression and how best to treat it. Medication alone, medication and talk therapy, talk therapy alone…… Different things work for different people.  For me, medication and talk therapy is a combination that works. But, here’s where it gets confusing. What kind of talk therapy? CBT is generally touted as the best form of talking treatment. My understanding of CBT (I’m not…

Read More

Too much too soon?

So I talked a bit on my last post about what this blog has done for me, and how it’s worked out so far. But I’m wondering if it could be something more. Certainly a huge part of the impetus in doing this has essentially been self serving, because it’s doing me no end of good. It’s been so cathartic, and the support and response I’ve gotten have helped even…

Read More

The journey so far

So I’m a month in. It’s been an adventure. At first I was so excited by people actually reading my stuff that I could hardly sleep. Then I was so terrified at having exposed the inner workings of my mind that I could likewise hardly sleep. Now? Now I don’t know. It’s been a strange week anyway, what with my mood changing like the proverbial weather (for anyone reading this…

Read More