Rant

Today I need to rant. Read it, ignore it, up to you!! I’m pissed off, and I’m upset. As you know, I’m back to work, although at the moment I’m just putting my foot in the door – 2 days a week for the next couple of weeks and then back to full time. I’m dreading full time, absolutely dreading it, for so many reasons! I guess the biggest one…

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Medication

I asked blog readers what they would like me write about, and a few expessed interest in hearing about medication. Seems timely to think about it today following on from yesterday’s blip! First things first, I’d like to reiterate that I’m not an expert – my experience is my own and that’s my only point of reference. Different things work for different people, I can only say with certainty what has and hasn’t…

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Whitewash

As always, my last session with Therapist has left me with something to think about, which I guess is the point of therapy! Anyway, we were talking about my recovery activity of choice, namely painting. Not painting in the artistic sense of the word, but diy. When I was getting over last year’s episode I redid my kitchen and two bedrooms, this year I took on the hall, stairs and…

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What more can I do?

I realised something this evening. I know I’ve mentioned a few times now on facebook how I feel that this whole exercise has become something bigger than me, that it’s not just about me anymore. I can’t quite get my head around the fact that people are reading what I’ve written, never mind having an active interest in it or recognising exactly what I’m talking about. I’m amazed by how many…

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Tired and emotional

Those of you who are keeping up with me on Facebook know I’ve been feeling a tad emotional the last few days. Those of you who aren’t…….well, now you know! I’m putting it down to my imminent return to work, and everything that’s going with that. I haven’t worked for 4 months. I was also off last year, again due to depression, for 4 months. In between I worked, on…

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‘Marketing’ depression

So this one might be a little contentious, but hey, I want us to talk so I’m going to throw it out there. I had a really interesting conversation with Therapist yesterday about how depression is marketed, for want of a better word, ie, the language we use to talk about it. I’ve always had an issue with the term ‘I suffer from depression’. Therapist challenged me on this. Why?…

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What do you do?

This is a question which over the years has caused me an untold, and completely unnecessary, amount of angst. So small, just a conversation starter. But for me, as I suspect for the vast majority, my whole sense of self and self worth, were tied up in that one little question and its response.  We live in a society where, from the outside at least, what we do says more…

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Mini-meltdown

So this evening was interesting. I’ve had a really lovely day – a nice relaxing time with hubby and the kids this morning splashing about in the local park, then an afternoon with a good friend wandering around a beautiful garden. Form has been good. But, following the smallest, most innocuous little incident this evening, I found myself in freefall. I think my biggest source of anxiety at the moment…

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Life in the psych unit

So to pick up where I left off, after meeting the psychiatrist myself and Hubby resigned ourselves to the fact that this time I would be staying. How did that feel? Honestly, I’m not entirely sure. Looking back I don’t think I know what I felt, I was mostly numb. I don’t remember being shown to my bed, although I do remember recognising the voice of a visitor at the…

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