I think I’ve made a horrible mistake, and I’m so sorry. On reflection, I’m really not comfortable with Patreon, and I’m not comfortable with asking you for money again. The whole reason for this blog was for me to try and figure stuff out, and it just kind of happened that in some way that helped you figure things out too. I never set out to make a career of it, because I never knew how it would grow and I think I lost my way a little recently. I guess what I’ve realised the last couple of months, among many, many other things, is how much I want all of this work to be at the centre of my life, but it can’t, not really, or at least not right now. I can blog in my spare time, I can share what I’m learning with 3.0 as and when I can. But after that?

I’m not sure there is an after that. I’m still out of work and unsure when and if I’ll be cleared to go back, but either way, I need to start giving some thought to how I might make a living going forward. If I don’t get back to my day job, then I’ll have to work something else out. But that’s my problem, not yours, and it was really unfair of me to make it yours.

I’m truly sorry for any offence I may have caused any of you in starting out with Patreon, I hope that you can understand I did it with the best of (if slightly misguided) intentions. I’m not going to stop writing. But I am going to stop asking you for anything other than the wonderful moral support you have always given so freely.

Everything that has been donated to Patreon will be returned in full, I hope I haven’t damaged anything beyond repair. As always, thank you for your patience, understanding and honesty.

This article has 5 Comments

  1. It takes an enormous amount of strength to publish something like this. I was already a huge admirer of yours and this has only confirmed that I was right to be.

  2. There’s much worthy about taking your pain and turning it into a passion. I don’t intend to put doubt in your decision but I wanted to share my opinion. Since September I’ve been taking an online Psyco-educational DBT class at DBT path/ emotionally sensitive.com. It’s run by a peer Debbie Corso and a licensed therapist Kathryn Holt. Debbie founded it. She has helped many all over the world by sharing her story of recovery and DBT skills. She started by video bloging and over time and healing, founded DBT path for peers. She makes money from this. I’m pretty sure she might have a day job.
    I’ve seen true networking and writing skills with you. Just know I am rooting for you in whatever you decide/can do and that anything is possible. Maybe going back to work is a main objective now but in the future maybe you can add writing as part of your income. I wish you luck and take care!

  3. Fiona, I think you are very brave posting this. I had the pleasure of meeting you after the great talk in Galway run by St Pats and I just wanted to let u know I think you should listen to your heart and follow your dreams. You will get there when the time is right and as a good friend explained to me once, sometimes you just have to trust the process. Hope that makes sense. Great to hear the shift in your recovery too. If nothing changes, nothing changes!

  4. I discovered your blog today and have read it right through from the start. What a journey you’ve been on. I’m so sorry to have arrived at a time you’re feeling at a crossroads with things; it sounds like I’ve missed things but I don’t want to pry.

    I just wanted to say I have really learned a lot from reading about your experiences and how you’ve been reflecting on them. I’m in a similar, mid-life, need to get back into work after a long time out, situation so it’s really interesting hearing from someone in a similar life situation, even though our particular struggles are a bit different.

    I’m horribly selfish 😉 and I wanted to hear more of the story with Therapist #2, you seemed to be moving slowly but surely with her, and the insight was amazing to read. I don’t think I understand the stuff with Therapist #3 so much – but this is your story not mine, and I am hoping to read more if you will be continuing with the blog.

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