Today is interesting. Not entirely sure yet if it’s interesting in a good way or a bad way, but interesting in how I’m feeling. You all know there’s been a bit of excitement the last few days between the reaction to my piece in thejournal.ie and Hubby’s interview but now I think the adrenaline has worn off and I’m actually not entirely sure how I feel.

I’m down to my half dose now, and have been since Saturday. So far so good in terms of withdrawal symptoms. But, I’m a little on edge today. I don’t have an appointment with Therapist this week (clashed with D’s first night at Scouts which was waaaay more important) so I’m just waiting to see if she has a cancellation and can fit me in. I thought I’d be ok for the week although today I’m thinking it would be good to have the chance to check in. Not looking likely at this stage though. I’m not even sure how exactly I’m on edge – just a touch of anxiety and a sense of not quite being right. But it’ll pass, and in a way it might be no harm to get through it without Therapist’s support, so I can figure it out for myself.

I’m also tired which never helps, and my sleep has been a bit strange the last few days – I’ve been having incredibly, vivid, slightly unnerving dreams – you know the sort that you can’t quite remember but the feeling stays with you for the day? Not loving those.

Mine are generally a lot more frantic than this photo might imply….

The last part of the interestingness……..(and I’m starting to think interesting is the wrong word but I’m committed to it now. Maybe half-assed would be better) is a serious lack of motivation. There’s been lots of blank screen staring this morning. Not awesome. Thankfully I’m not overly busy today and I’ll get through what I need to do, but I’m hoping it doesn’t continue beyond today.

So, I need to kick myself into gear. Sorry, not helpful. I need to gently encourage myself to do a few things:

  • get to bed early tonight – stay away from the internet!!!!!! It’s my downfall every single night
  • I have a sleep app. Use it.
  • Ten minutes of yoga (I’m aiming low for a reason – if I say half hour or hour, it’ll be too much and I won’t do anything. Ten minutes generally turns into more anyway)
  • Finish making the food shopping list ( I hate this job. Hate it. But the cupboards are shamefully bare so it has to be done)
  • Remember that I’m in the process of tapering and it’s likely to affect how I feel. It doesn’t mean anything sinister, just chemicals are out of whack and that makes things a little more challenging.
Ok, that’s ambitious enough for today. I’ll let you know how it goes! 

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