I’m finding it incredibly hard to focus today. I mostly have the attention span of a three year old. My eyeballs hurt. I’ve never actually seen the Blair Witch Project, but remember the shaky camera work?? That’s what my world looks like right now every time I move my head and it’s really disorienting. I’m so, so tired. The massive emotional upheaval of the last few days has me utterly wiped, and I’m not sleeping properly at all which is making matters so much worse.
I’m sorry, I’m very much aware that this is nothing but a litany of complaints but it’s really tough going right now!! Anything more complex than actually staying awake is pretty much a non runner for now, and the fact that I’m expected to continue with life as normal while all this is going on is starting to feel like a push too far. I’m in work today, but less than productive. I may need some time off, although I haven’t quite decided whether that’s self compassion or copping out. Mostly I would love to lie down in a very dark, very quiet room and just sleep. No crazy dreams. No interruptions. No alarm clocks or early morning wake up calls. Just sleep till I’m not tired any more, then get up with a clear head.
I’m in danger of wandering into self pity territory. That is not going to help in the slightest. I’ve a few minutes of lunch left – I’m going to get up, leave the office for a few minutes and get some air. Hopefully that will help. I think I’ve gone orange.
Later – I found a convenient rock by the river, sat, and took some very deep breaths………………it helped.
|Three of my favourite things – water, blue sky, and trees|