I haven’t written anything in almost a month. Part of it has been time commitments, part of it has been actively, albeit subconsciously, putting everything and everyone else first. The old guilt that I had started to get a handle on around my kids – am I doing enough/too much/not enough etc etc – has been rearing its head again in a big way, and when that takes hold it’s…

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Guest post – Dialectics

Lucie, Square One Exactly a year ago, I was all excited leaving my DBT Skills Group.  I was on my way to collect a puppy.  That same puppy is lying at my feet as I write this just hours after finishing my final Skills Group.  That day, I wasn’t long into DBT.  I was still working full time, feeling “fine” about it all, struggling a little to make sense of…

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Just one thing

I’m starting to get myself back on track, so I suspect there was actually some fallout from the med reduction a few weeks back. My mood is definitely improving, and I don’t have the bone crushing tiredness that was tormenting me for a while. That said, I’ve also been working really bloody hard to keep myself in a reasonable frame of mind! I’m back doing my yoga. Hubby started me…

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A change of plan

I was due to see Therapist 2.0 this morning, and just as I was on my way out the door I got a call cancelling the session. My reaction to that cancellation is helping me to see just how much things are changing. In the six years that I was working with Therapist 1.0, I think she only ever cancelled on me once (which is pretty impressive in its own…

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I’m sitting here this morning feeling anxious and low and depressed and trying to breathe into it like Therapist 2.0 suggested. It sucks. It feels horrible. My mind is coming up with a million and one other things I could/should be doing right now, all of which are extremely worthy and all of which will distract me from how I’m feeling. So this is the part where I’m confused –…

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Sit with it

You know all the difficulties I’ve had over the years with transference and Therapist 1.0? Well today, I finally started both to really, properly understand it, and work on it, with Therapist 2.0. It’s been frustrating the hell out of me, because despite the distance of over a year now, I still find myself desperately missing 1.0, and when I’m feeling more vulnerable, will still go online in a half…

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The Busy Life 1953 Jean Dubuffet 1901-1985 Presented by the artist 1966

Loose wheels

It’s been weeks since I’ve written anything – partly because I’ve felt really stable, partly because there’s been a whole lot of other stuff going on and writing has just had to take a back seat. This morning, I can’t afford to leave it in the back seat because the activity of the last three weeks is most definitely catching up with me. The potted version includes: getting the kids…

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glowing bulb among the gray

Old brain emotions, new brain beliefs

Last week, as well as the model for describing emotion, Therapist 2.0 gave me a handout about ways of describing emotion – what the prompting events, experiences and actions of different emotions look like. It was to be my homework for the week because identifying my emotions is something I often have trouble with. The more I read it, the more I realised a few things. One, what it is I…

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Understanding self compassion

I’m finally getting somewhere on this one. I flicked back through posts I’ve written the last few months, and this is the first time self compassion appeared. Here’s what I said at the time,‘Self compassion isn’t easy. It’s work. It’s acknowledging what’s going on, then accepting it, then doing something to alleviate it, then doing something to change the situation if that’s what’s needed.  It’s so much work. But it’s work I…

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