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48 hours

The last 48 hours have been the most intense, unsettling and surreal I’ve had in quite a while. I’ve gone from feeling confident and excited about the future to the extreme polar opposite. Not only did that future seem completely out of reach, it also seemed ridiculous to even have contemplated it in the first place. You see, over the last week or so, an idea that’s been at the…

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Changes

I realise my new perspective on all things mental health related, and in particular on medication, may be more than a bit disconcerting for some of you. It’s so hard to explain in just one post, but let me try: This page has always been about me sharing my experience, and my experience now is that my view on everything mental health related is changing quite dramatically. This includes treatment…

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The past in the present

This one is a little out of left field, but stay with me. While I was reflecting this morning, an image came to mind really strongly. It’s when my son was very tiny, only a few weeks old, and the absolute worst part of my day was those few minutes after Hubby left for work. If I close my eyes, I can actually see me sitting up in bed with…

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Being, not doing

One of the things Therapist 3.0 has been talking about since the day we met is the power of reflection. It took me quite a while to get my head around this concept – what was I supposed to do? How do I make reflection happen? The harder I tried, the less it happened, the more frustrated I got. I was making a really fundamental, yet so, so simple, mistake. You…

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A thing of the past

I took a notion to clean out the bathroom shelves earlier (it’s a job I tend to ignore until there is literally no room to put anything else on them) and I came across something. Two something actually. My emergency meds, and the blade I had forgotten I’d kept on the off chance that I ever decided I needed to cut myself again. Both of them gave me brief pause…

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Bpd?

If you don’t keep up with me on facebook or twitter you might have missed the fact that I’ve completely revised my bpd page. So, here it is 🙂 When I first created this section of the website, this is how I introduced it: Since being diagnosed with bpd in April 2014, I’ve had to work hard to understand what it means as an illness, and what aspects of it…

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This time last year…….!

I hadn’t intended to do a ‘this time last year’ type post, but as the day has gone on it’s increasingly been on my mind so……..here you go. This time last year: I believed I had borderline personality disorder I believed I had depression I believed both were conditions that were part of me, with which I would always struggle I believed I would need psychiatric medication for the rest…

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Recognising Fi

I think I know why things got so complicated for me, why I got depressed over and over again, why I eventually starting displaying all the symptoms that are known as borderline personality disorder. (My brain is running away here with me a bit so you’ll have to forgive me if this doesn’t make sense yet). The last couple of weeks, through the work I’m doing with Therapist 3.0, have…

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Understanding

Yesterday was a day of deep and profound realisations. I spent two and a half hours in a skype session with Therapist 3.0, and a considerable portion of the rest of the day reflecting on what we had spoken about. Such a monumental amount of thought patterns and beliefs have shifted that I can’t currently begin to describe them. One though, which is a wonderful shift, revealed itself to be…

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